Current:Home > MyHis wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.-LoTradeCoin
His wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.
View Date:2024-12-24 01:42:59
Grief affects us all – but not in ways we always consider. People die, yes, but so do pets. We can grieve dreams, jobs, our health, past versions of ourselves. Grief is not linear; it does not come in stages, a common misconception. It's unique to the individual.
After embarking on a series to document different grief journeys, we asked for your input. What kinds of grief had you experienced? Would you be willing to share your story publicly?
With more than 120 responses and counting, here's a look at what some of you shared. You can submit your own story here.
Bill Badgley, 72
"(My wife) Carol was hit by a falling tree as she walked home. She was found by a neighbor. By the time I was notified and could get to the scene, she was in an ambulance but a pool of blood and the downed tree were still there. In the ambulance, the blood was soaking her pillow, but she opened her eyes when I spoke her name. The tree broke ribs and vertebrae and caused a traumatic brain injury. A piece of her skull was removed to allow for swelling of the brain. Carol lived for 11 weeks in the hospital where I went to be with her every day.
The day before she died, she fought to come back a last time and returned my kiss twice, the only time this happened in the 11 weeks. I wrote and delivered Carol’s memorial service. I needed to do it. I focused on four lessons that Carol had taught me, the most important being that love is the miracle. Our grave marker will say as much. Now that she’s gone, the trauma of the event and the hospitalization does not recede. I remain angry and bewildered about how this could happen. How I see nature and life has changed. I am incredibly lost without Carol. I am diminished and no longer whole. I have a small urn with some of her ashes. There are pictures of her on either side. There is a sculpture of a loon, Carol’s favorite bird. There are some shells that we collected together on Sanibel Island, including left and right angel wing shells. I greet Carol every morning. I speak to her before bed. 'I love you. I miss you. Please be with me when you can. Please wait for me.'"
Melissa Monroe, 54
"When a military friend pointed out that the paralyzing guilt I suffered after my 2-year-old daughter Alice died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) was a product of PTSD, I dismissed him. 'I have not been to war! My symptoms do not deserve to be considered PTSD.' I argued. As an acupuncturist specializing in mental health, I was familiar with the signs. Still, I had not recognized them in myself until my friend’s patient insistence led me to consult the checklist. Then I realized he was right.
I was one of the increasing number of bereaved parents who experienced traumatic guilt, which is associated with heightened suicidal ideation. Trauma-related guilt commonly presents with both grief and PTSD but is less widely discussed than other symptoms. It can occur following any type of loss but is particularly predominant among bereaved parents."
In case you missed:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Brooke Westlake, 42
"I was my grandma Bev's primary caretaker ... she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years … When she died it was just me and her. I was holding her. She took one breathe and left. It was like I watched her soul float away.
Her only child and son, and my biological father died three years later. His death was pretty horrific and heartbreaking. He had struggled with drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.
July of 2022, I helped my stepfather with end of life care. We got five lovely days together before he started the transition. I helped my mom with the process, because she had never been through the death process. And April of this year (2023), my grandpa Don, my father's dad, died. I was able to see him before he passed, but it was also overwhelming to know that was the last time we would see each other. I tried to stay positive the entire time, but broke down crying on and off. It’s been several years of grief stacked up on top of each other. Some days I’m grateful that the people I love are no longer suffering and then other days I just wish they were still here, so I could see them, hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, talk with them. All these wonderful people I have cherished and lost have all one thing in common. We all loved laughing together.
In 2024, I’m getting a very specific tattoo for each of them on their birthdays with their signature, from how they would sign cards or letters to me."
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach someone with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're available 24 hours a day and provide services in multiple languages.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Have you seen?'The Golden Bachelor,' 'Selling Sunset' and grieving on TV
veryGood! (18387)
Related
- Engines on 1.4 million Honda vehicles might fail, so US regulators open an investigation
- Michigan State selects UNC-Chapel Hill chancellor as next president
- Europe reaches a deal on the world’s first comprehensive AI rules
- Jonathan Majors begged accuser to avoid hospital, warning of possible ‘investigation,’ messages show
- Ariana Grande's Brunette Hair Transformation Is a Callback to Her Roots
- Bulgarian parliament again approves additional military aid to Ukraine
- Pritzker signs law lifting moratorium on nuclear reactors
- Biden thanks police for acting during UNLV shooting, renews calls for gun control measures
- Kim Kardashian Says She's Raising Her and Kanye West's 4 Kids By Herself
- UNLV shooting victims join growing number of lives lost to mass killings in US this year
Ranking
- Man found dead in tanning bed at Indianapolis Planet Fitness; family wants stricter policies
- Oprah Winfrey Shares Insight into Her Health and Fitness Transformation
- Think twice before scanning a QR code — it could lead to identity theft, FTC warns
- 3 fascinating details from ESPN report on Brittney Griner's time in Russian prison
- Kyle Richards Swears This Holiday Candle Is the Best Scent Ever and She Uses It All Year
- Police in Dominica probe the killing of a Canadian couple who owned eco-resort
- High-speed rail projects get a $6 billion infusion of federal infrastructure money
- Why do doctors still use pagers?
Recommendation
-
'I know how to do math': New Red Lobster CEO says endless shrimp deal is not coming back
-
Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour is the first tour to gross over $1 billion, Pollstar says
-
The U.S. economy has a new twist: Deflation. Here's what it means.
-
Local New Hampshire newspaper publisher found guilty of political advertisement omissions
-
Horoscopes Today, November 13, 2024
-
With Putin’s reelection all but assured, Russia’s opposition still vows to undermine his image
-
Stolen packages could put a chill on the holiday season. Here's how experts say you can thwart porch pirates.
-
'Beyond rare' all-white alligator born in Florida. She may be 1 of 8 in the world.